Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Cannes Jury Sneaks Off To Watch ‘Mortal Kombat II’ 

The Onion

Sweaty Ass Print On Rowing Machine Already Fading Like All Of Our Earthly Works

The Onion

NASA Announces Rover Has Found Beauty In The Mundane On Mars

The Onion

BTS Fans Warned Flash Photography Will Trigger J-Hope’s Assassination Protocol

The Onion

Calves and Have-Nots

The Onion

Terrified Introvert One Away From Bingo

The Onion

Dad Rocks Back And Forth To Gain Enough Momentum To Sit Up From Chair

The Onion

Trump Requests $1.2 Trillion To Have

The Onion

Even Shaq Surprised To Learn He’s The New Spokesman For DivaCup

The Onion

JD Vance Disavows Trump’s Handling Of Iran War As Brilliant Strategy By An Impeccable Genius

The Onion

Financial Experts Recommend Putting Tax Return Toward Dream Sandwich

The Onion

Timeline Of China–Taiwan Relations

The Onion

Kash Patel Goes Snorkeling At Pearl Harbor Memorial

The Onion

Respect For Friend Drops After Reading Book They Recommended

The Onion

Commencement Speaker Addresses Impenetrable Cloud Of Vape Smoke

The Onion

Senators Vote To Withhold Own Pay During Government Shutdowns

The Onion

Study: Most Men Believe They Could Seduce Bear If Life Depended On It

The Onion

Study Finds Neanderthals Performed Dentistry

The Onion

Tips For Supporting Public Media

The Onion

Everyone In Conversation Under Different Impression As To Which Horrific News Being Discussed

The Onion