Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Anti-Aging Millionaire Announces He Has Split Back Into Sperm And Egg

The Onion

RFK Jr. Rushed To Gym After Heart Attack

The Onion

Chase Reminds Customers To Only Share Banking Information With People Who Seem Nice 

The Onion

MLB Attempts To Reduce Human Error With New Electronic Bat Boys

The Onion

Tiger Woods Completes 12-Step AA Program In 9

The Onion

Japanese Eels Revealed To Have 2 Types Of Sperm

The Onion

Mom Mails Son Jar She Needs Opened

The Onion

Questions Grow Over Mystery Of Missing Legislative Branch

The Onion

U.S. Indicts Former Cuban President

The Onion

Shai Gilgeous-Alexander Trying To Draw Foul While Shooting Free Throw

The Onion

Student Council Treasurer’s Deepest Convictions Tested By Access To $52 In Singles

The Onion

OpenAI Announces Construction Of New Data Center On Top Of Sick Child

The Onion

Kyle Richards Menacingly Circles ‘Secret Lives Of Mormon Wives’ Spinoff Shoot

The Onion

The Iran War By The Numbers

The Onion

Nation Begs Frozen Fruit Companies To Keep The Giant Flavorless Blackberries Coming 

The Onion

Alex Honnold Has Panic Attack At Top Of Step Ladder

The Onion

Study Finds Gen Z Adults Moving Home For Better Access To Triscuits

The Onion

Rawlings Donates 50,000 Baseball Gloves To Ukrainian War Effort

The Onion

Squirrel Unaware He Embroiled In Months-Long Feud With Homeowner

The Onion

Bobby Hanlon

The Onion