Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

George Clooney, 1,000 Paparazzi Granted French Citizenship

The Onion

Bloated Nation Struggling To Work Way Through Leftover Rijstevlaai

The Onion

To Cirrhosis With Love

The Onion

Disney Licenses Characters For Use On OpenAI Video Generator

The Onion

Health Speculations Swirl As Trump Seen With Damage Numbers Above Head

The Onion

Tech Billionaires Threaten To Flee California Over Proposed Vest Tax 

The Onion

Images Of National Parks Replaced With Trump’s Face On Annual Passes

The Onion

MTA Admits To Fabricating Large Parts Of Subway Map

The Onion

Santa Tracker Shows Sleigh Stopped For 40 Minutes Outside Old Girlfriend’s House

The Onion

Bullshit Newborn Not Even Christ

The Onion

Usha Vance Forces Smile After Unwrapping Another Bible For Christmas

The Onion

Felt Beard Taped To Child’s Face Hanging On For Dear Life With Entire Christmas Pageant To Go

The Onion

McConaissance Quietly Concludes

The Onion

Ho, Ho, Ho! I’m Regrowing My Foreskin!

The Onion

State Department Reinstates Times New Roman Font Over DEI Concerns

The Onion

Hockey Players Blast ‘Heated Rivalry’ For Unrealistic Depiction Of Anal Sex 

The Onion

Student Who’s Been In 3 School Shootings Starting To Think This Might Be About Him

The Onion

Community Does Jack Shit To Make Christmas Better For Town’s Second-Poorest Family

The Onion

Blue Drew Barrymore Could’ve Sworn She Saw James Cameron On Schedule

The Onion

Trump Announces New ‘Dodger Dividend’ For Anyone Who Avoided Military Service

The Onion