Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Chevron CEO Sure In Good Mood This Week

The Onion

Apple Photos Reminds Man He Was Nude In Capitol Building 5 Years Ago

The Onion

Lost Jan. 6 Rioter Still Searching Capitol Building For Mike Pence

The Onion

Steph Curry Finally Finishes Eating Mouthguard

The Onion

Mark Kelly Punished With Expulsion To Outer Space

The Onion

NASA Discovers Distant Planet With Conditions That Could Sustain Rocks

The Onion

British Teen Returning From Semester In U.S. Regales Friends With Tale Of Food That Tastes Good

The Onion

Trump Claims He Will Marry Maduro’s Wife Until Suitable Replacement Found

The Onion

Local Church Opens Doors To Any Single Mothers In Need Of Judgment

The Onion

Congress: ‘If You Wanted An Expensive Foreign War, All You Had To Do Was Ask’

The Onion

Publishers Break Down Door As George R.R. Martin Escapes Through Bathroom Window

The Onion

Nicolás Maduro Charged With Felony Oil Possession

The Onion

Panicked xAI Technicians Frantically Throw Levers To Find The One Controlling Grok’s Pedophilia

The Onion

Menopause: Myth Vs. Fact

The Onion

Artist Profile: Cameron Winter

The Onion

Duffer Brothers Admit They Haven’t Watched ‘Stranger Things’ In Years

The Onion

Study Finds 93% Of Murders Solved By Consulting Victim’s Pet Parrot

The Onion

Why Are We Doing Dry January?

The Onion

How To Stick To Your New Year’s Resolutions

The Onion

Trump Appoints Self To Divine Muses

The Onion