Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Pam Bondi Brought In For Exit Lobotomy

The Onion

Bondi: ‘My Only Regret Is Not Being Able To Re-Traumatize More Victims’

The Onion

Pete Hegseth Replaces Top General With Horse That Drinks Beer 

The Onion

Iran Imposes New ‘Cash, Grass, Or Ass’ Fee For Strait Of Hormuz

The Onion

Blue Origin To Increase Space Tourism By Launching World’s Largest Ball Of Twine Into Orbit

The Onion

Pelicans-Kings Game Ends After Neither Team Able To Recover Tipoff

The Onion

Marvel Calls Emergency Meeting To Determine If They Already Made One Called ‘Avengers: Doomsday’

The Onion

Photo Of Unknown Child Graces Grandma’s Fridge

The Onion

Over 400,000 KitKat Bars Stolen In Heist

The Onion

Artist Profile: Zara Larsson

The Onion

Colorado Overrun With Flamboyant Children After Camp Director Notices Conversion Therapy Device Set To Reverse

The Onion

Trump Signs Executive Order To Create Federal Voting List

The Onion

Panicked Dodgers Owner Has No Idea How He’s Going To Come Up With $414 Million Payroll

The Onion

SNAP Now Requiring Recipients To Spend 80 Hours A Month In Hypoglycemic Coma 

The Onion

Artemis II Mission Fails After Astronauts Miss Connection Rocket In Atlanta

The Onion

What To Know About ‘The Super Mario Galaxy Movie’

The Onion

Analysts Say Paramount-Warner Bros. Merger Offers Best Shot At ‘Sex And The City’ Reboot Starring Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

The Onion

Jake Paul Hoping To Gain Respect Of Boxing Community With Fight Against World’s Tallest Man

The Onion

Mail Carrier Hurt To Learn Residents On His Route Have Been Receiving Electronic Mail

The Onion

Inconsiderate Wife Leaves Bathroom A Total Mess After Home Birth

The Onion