Alex Jones may soon lose Infowars, the digital perch that he's used for decades to traffic in conspiracy theories, to The Onion, the satirical newspaper. But not before he's uncovered something truly dastardly: comedian Tim Heidecker's past (publicly available) work. "The Onion newspaper has been rocked by the discovery that their new creative director, produced […]

In short: The US government’s 9.9% stake in Intel, acquired for $8.9 billion last August by converting CHIPS Act grants and Secure Enclave funds into equity at $20.47/share, is now worth approximately $36 billion after Intel’s stock surged 20%+ on a massive Q1 earnings beat. The $26.5 billion unrealised gain is one of the most […]

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EA's Battlefield game franchise is getting a movie adaptation from Sinners star Michael B. Jordan & Mission Impossible director Christopher McQuarrie.

Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth issued a directive lifting the requirement that U.S. service members receive the flu vaccine, citing “medical autonomy.” What do you think?

The post U.S. Military To No Longer Require Flu Shots appeared first on The Onion.

COLUMBIA, MO—Growing increasingly irate that the new customer base had actually made the place profitable, regulars of local dive bar The Drunken Rooster were reportedly upset Friday after the business had become popular enough to be financially solvent. “This place used to be cool and underground, man. Now they have so many people in here […]

The post Regulars Angry Dive Bar Now Popular Enough To Be Financially Solvent appeared first on The Onion.