CORVALLIS, OR—As he tried to avert his gaze from the stress-inducing pile of letters seeking money, local man Todd Fincher remarked Tuesday that the ransom notes on his coffee table were really beginning to pile up. “I’ve been procrastinating on these for months because I just don’t want to deal with them, and now I’ve […]

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It’s Dad’s weekend. Try to make him feel like you want to be there. Reference #19887

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CRAWFORD, TX—Lashing out at the overbearing former vice president seated motionless in a rocking chair by the attic window, a distraught George W. Bush shouted, “Shut up, Mother! Shut up!” at the skeleton of Dick Cheney dressed in a suit, sources confirmed Friday. “I’m not your little boy anymore, Mother, so why must you constantly […]

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Hannah Pike, 27, died Monday after learning it was indeed that kind of cult.

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France announced that it will suspend Shein’s online marketplace after listings of sex dolls with child-like features emerged, coming as the brand opens its first brick-and-mortar store in Paris. What do you think?

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