Catholics around the world will soon enter the Lenten season, an annual 40-day period of sacrifice, prayer, and repentance that ends on Easter Sunday. The Onion shares tips for observing Lent. Try starting with something shorter like Yom Kippur and working your way up. Check Google Maps for the nearest wanderable desert. Remind your children […]

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LONDON—Calling for all hands on deck as he seized an armful of paperbacks, local bookshop owner Colin Mueller was reportedly scrambling to hide the classics Monday after he spotted filmmaker Emerald Fennell approaching the door. “For the love of God, please, someone grab the Jane Austens!” said Mueller, who jumped on top of a chair […]

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VERNON HILLS, IL—Lacking the ability to transform her father’s personality to the same extent as his leather couch or riding lawn mower, newborn baby Amber Gilroy reportedly failed this week to change new parent Eric Gilroy in any conceivable way. “Eric was always nice but just kind of floating through life, and then as soon […]

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Sony and Nintendo are reportedly feeling squeezed by RAM shortages as demand from AI data centers takes up an increasing share of memory chip production. In response to rising costs and dwindling chip supplies, Sony is considering pushing back the release of its next PlayStation console "to 2028 or even 2029," according to industry sources […]

The feline fighting game Mewgenics has become the most-played roguelite or roguelike game of all time on Steam, beating Hades 2's record.