Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Paramount launches a hostile bid to acquire WBD, offering WBD shareholders $30/share in a $108.4B all-cash deal; sources say WBD rejected the same bid last week (CNBC)

CNBC:
Paramount launches a hostile bid to acquire WBD, offering WBD shareholders $30/share in a $108.4B all-cash deal; sources say WBD rejected the same bid last week  —  Paramount Skydance is launching a hostile bid to buy Warner Bros. Discovery after it lost out to Netflix in a months-long bidding war …

Great Home For Hand Soap

This 3-by-4-inch plastic dish is a perfect place for you to sleep and live if you are a block of hand soap. If you are not a block of hand soap, this would likely not be a good place for you, unfortunately. Contact now! Reference #57675

The post Great Home For Hand Soap appeared first on The Onion.

Oprah Pursues Dr. Phil On Ship Through Arctic

THE ARCTIC CIRCLE—With a vow to destroy the abomination she had created if it was the last thing she ever did, television host Oprah Winfrey has spent weeks on a ship pursuing Dr. Phil through the Arctic, sources reported Tuesday. Sailors aboard the vessel confirmed that while Winfrey appeared ill and exhausted from continuous exposure […]

The post Oprah Pursues Dr. Phil On Ship Through Arctic appeared first on The Onion.

JD Vance Reminded To Use White House Service Entrance

WASHINGTON—During a confrontation in which it was firmly reiterated that the front entrance was for approved personnel only, Vice President JD Vance was once again reminded by White House security to use the service door, sources confirmed Tuesday.  “Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop right there. You know the rule. You’ll need to use the service entrance […]

The post JD Vance Reminded To Use White House Service Entrance appeared first on The Onion.

Segway’s new Myon e-bike will straddle past and future

Segway's modest e-bike lineup is about to gain a new entrant. The Ninebot-owned brand, once known for its pioneering self-balancing scooters, currently only sells two e-bikes: the moto-styled Xyber and the low-step Xafari. Now it's getting a third, Myon, which it plans on officially debuting at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas next year. […]