The thing about loss is that it just doesn't seem to end. It gets easier though. One day you wake you and you're feeling fine but one insignificant action somehow opens the gates for the sadness to creep in. And then that's it. The floodgates open and the tears come out.

If I thought the last months of 2020 were somewhat hard, January really proved me wrong. I do regret that I neglected my monthly bookmarks post. I've been wondering if I should start sharing the bookmarks individually like some folks do so that it doesn't pile up. I will think about it.

I'm sure I accidentally missed some bookmarks - a consequence of delaying sharing them. I hope that I can catch up on my missed bookmarks in my next post. It is also likely that I accidentally missed some posts from friends. Being online hasn't been a priority for me.

Take care friends.

Bookmarks related to tech or web development

• 11ty Rocks by Stephanie Eckles.
• Accessibility of Content Management Systems – what’s stopping us? by Marie Manandise.
• Inside the fight to rid the world of abusive stalkerware by Helena Pozniak.
• Falsehoods Programmers Believe About Names – With Examples by Tony Rogers.
• GIFS and prefers-reduced-motion by Chris Coyier.
• Parsing Markdown into an Automated Table of Contents by Lisi Linhart.
• Accessibility Acceptance Criteria.
• 7 Tips for Career Advancement and Personal Fulfillment by Kim Maida.
• Why it’s easy to hate Facebook but hard to leave by Heather Kelly.
• Time to Cache Up by Chris Burnell.
• Plaiceholder by Joe Bell.
• A Dynamically-Sized Sticky Sidebar with HTML and CSS by Ryan Mulligan.
• The impact of online gender-based violence on women in public life by Web Foundation.
• Weaving Web Accessibility With Usability by Uri Paz.
• So you wanna create an eco-friendly website by Eric Bailey.
• Boomarks #3 by Steve Messer.
• Stop Giving af and Start Writing More by Joel Hooks.
• The Rules of Margin Collapse by Joshua Comeau.
• Web Alamanc - Accessibility by Olu Niyi-Awosusi and Alex Tait.
• Facebook Derangement Syndrome by Heather Burns.
• Accessible icon links by Kitty Giraudel.
• SVG Path Editor
• The coming war on the hidden algorithms that trap people in poverty by Karen Hao.
• How To Use The Spotify API and Netlify Functions To Build A “Now Playing” Widget by Henry Desroches.
• Alt vs Figcaption by Elaina Natario.
• Not Much by Ire Aderinokun.
• Facebook Is a Doomsday Machine by Adrienne LaFrance.
• Conditional JavaScript, only download when it is appropriate to do so by Umar.
• Using Airtable as a database to store realtime messages by Srushtika Neelakantam.
• Webbish by Remy Sharp.
• Interface localisation: adapting text fields for RTL languages by Mitya Kuznetsov.
• Search Engine Optimization Checklist (PDF) by Frederick O’Brien.
• Small b blogging by Tom Critchlow.
• This used to be our playground by Simon Collison.
• Designing with Empathy: Don’t by Doc Parsons.
• Content-visibility and Accessible Semantics by Marcy Sutton.
• Are your anchor links accessible? by Amber Wilson.
• Algorithms Behaving Badly: 2020 Edition by The Markup Staff.
• He spent 10 days in jail after facial recognition software led to the arrest of the wrong man, lawsuit says by Anthony G. Attrino.
• Inside the Strange World of YouTube Thumbnails by Louise Matsakis.
• Eleventy-Parcel by Michelle Barker.
• Eleventy Plugin Template by Stephanie Eckles.
• Give your Eleventy Site Superpowers with Environment Variables by Andy Bell.
• Thoughts on screen readers and image recognition by Léonie Watson.
• How To Make Seamless Patterns by Yuan Chuan.
• How I turned my Goodreads data into a self-hosted website with Eleventy by Hidde de Vries.
• Architecting data in Eleventy by Sia Karamalegos.
• The Art of Building Real-life Components by Ahmad Shadeed.
• Distributed toxicity and the IndieWeb by Fluffy.
• Simple Social Image Resizer by Chris Johnson.
• Front-End Performance Checklist 2021 by Vitaly Friedman.
• The Surprising Things That CSS Can Animate by Will Boyd.
• Grids Part 2: Semantics by Sarah Higley.
• SVG Crop by Steve Dennett.
• An AI saw a cropped photo of AOC. It autocompleted her wearing a bikini by Karen Hao.
• Why Generation X will save the web by Heather Burns
• Authentication by Jeremy Keith.
• Uniwidth typefaces for interface design by Lisa Staudinger.
• Create a generative landing page & WebGL powered background animation by George Francis.
• Command Line Basics: A Short & Sweet Introduction by Tae'lur Alexis.
• Exposing.ai by by Adam Harvey and Jules LaPlace.
• How to Add Instagram Timeline To a NextJS Site by Monica Powell.
• Accessibility auditing and ego by Eric W Bailey.
• Finding an Element’s Nearest Relative Positioned Ancestor by Michelle Barker.
• Implement a Skip Link for Navigation-Heavy Sites by Ben Myers.
• Link Targets and 3.2.5 by Adrian Roselli.
• Improve the readability of the content on your website by Andy Bell.
• Create Responsive Image Effects With CSS Gradients And aspect-ratio by Stephanie Eckles.

Other bookmarks

• CoronaShock and Patriarchy.
• 80 percent of those who died of Covid-19 in Texas county jails were never convicted of a crime by Jerusalem Demsas.
• The Uncanny Valley of Culture by Damon.
• Hancock's former neighbour won Covid test kit work after WhatsApp message by Felicity Lawrence.
• The time has come to take the self out of self-care by Tanmoy Goswami.
• Reading list picks of 2020 by Steve Messer.
• The Real Reason Local Newspapers are Dying by Lyz.
• A beginner's guide to being an ally to trans people by Ted Ravago.
• The family with no fingerprints by Mir Sabbir.
• Trail cam footage of opossum and a skunk.
• Figuring Out What You Need To Flourish In The New Year by Nina Dearden.
• Compassionate action over empathy by Tatiana Mac.
• Lockdown ramifications.
• Why You Need to Stop Using These Words and Phrases by Rakshitha Arni Ravishankar.
• In Germany, your ex must destroy nude photos on request by Ben Knight.
• I Knew the Vessel Was Going to Have a Suicide Problem Years Before It Was Built by Audrey Wachs.
• Us vs them: the sinister techniques of ‘Othering’ – and how to avoid them by John A Powell.
• Twitter’s Most Infamous Stan Account Speaks by Sangeeta Singh-Kurtz.
• Far-right extremists take over UK land sales Facebook page by Alex Hern.
• In defense of disorder: on career, creativity, and professionalism by Chiara Amisola.
• How I recovered from imposter syndrome after changing career to software engineering by Frances Maxwell.
• Meet the Customer Service Reps for Disney and Airbnb Who Have to Pay to Talk to You by Ken Armstrong, Justin Elliott and Ariana Tobin.
• Hoarding Is All Too Familiar To Second Generation Brits. Here's Why by Deborah Yewande Bankole.
• Content moderation won’t stop the spread of disinformation. Here’s why by Jillian C. York
• The Lies Hollywood Tells About Little Girls by Mara Wilson.

Hidde invited me to share what my typical day looks like. I saw the chain going around and I read a few from people I know. I thought it was really interesting and I had a strange feeling of relief when I read about real humans and the fact that, actually, they are very similar to me!

It is a bit silly, but I always imagine that everyone else is constantly switched on and creating things. I mean, social media gives that illusion and my own insecurities feed it, but this pandemic really made me feel ashamed for taking it easy.

8:30 My husband's alarm goes off. But realistically, I'm usually a little bit awake since half-past six because that's the time my cat comes to check if I am awake. I also live in an area that has some traffic, so I wake up really easily with any noise. Once the alarm goes off, she starts meowing and jumping on us because she knows it is absolutely fair game. Around this time, I get up, put the collar on my cat, top-up her food and open her catflap. I hate when I don't make the bed so I usually make it around this time, have a shower and have coffee (my husband usually makes it and leaves it on my desk).

I usually have my coffee while checking my emails, social media, RSS feed and the news but many times I take the coffee outside and go to my garden. Around this time I check if we were visited by foxes or other cats during the night, examine how my flower bed is doing and just look at my cat wandering around and smelling things.

9:30 Work starts around this time. I share what I did the day before, what I'm going to do today and, if I need something from someone on the team, this is usually the moment I let everyone know in advance so that they can plan their work too. But most importantly, I tell people what I dreamt the night before!

We also do team updates on video calls, but since we already shared our day, we usually do fun and informal conversations. If I had a really incredible dream (which is very often by the way), I don't write it out and this is the moment where everyone is forced to listen to it.

A great part of the morning is spent on calls (either with teammates or clients) but that actually works for me as I need some time to get into productive mode.

13:00 I try to use my lunch break for a quick walk in the common. Sometime last year, I completely lost my appetite and energy to think about lunch so I normally grab a quick and small bite and do more frequent fruit snacks during the day instead. I don't recommend this. Sometimes I also use this walk to run some quick errands. I usually listen to music that makes me want to sing and think about how much I miss karaoke with friends.

If the weather isn't great, I use this time to write on my drafts and jot down thoughts that I would like to maybe one day convert into a blog post.

14:00 Work time. This is usually my most focused time. Similar to Cassie, I have lots of herbal tea and listen to music that helps me focus. I personally use Noizio or my own playlist with my favourite music from The Rasmus. I explored this before: I usually focus really well if I am listening to music that brings me positive nostalgia, especially if I am doing a complicated task. Probably placebo, but I will not fight against it.

Some days, my anxiety and feelings from "life happens" creep in and I end up feeling extremely guilty for not being super productive. I try to catch up on work whenever I can so sometimes I feel like I did 8 hours of work in one afternoon. Other times... not so much.

18:00 I try to wrap up around this time and turn off my laptop. Halfway through last year I felt incredibly burned out from constantly being on my laptop at home so unless I am on a tight deadline, I will turn off my computer. There is also another exception: every other Wednesday, there's Homebrew Website Club, so from this time on, I try to write or work on my blog and then participate in the call.

From this moment on, I close the cat's catflap, take off her collar, play with her (she demands it like a dog!), do some home admin, check out my indoor plants (especially my Venus Fly Trap and whatever I'm trying to get roots from in a jar of water) and call my family.

19:00 Cooking and dinner time! My husband and I take turns in cooking. I feel more adventurous to try new recipes on Fridays and Saturdays - in case it goes wrong, there's always a takeaway option. And the cat also has her dinner!

I light up whatever candle I have in progress (I love candles), we chat about work, do the dishes and usually end the evening watching series together. This is also the time I ask my husband to read things I've written. We have a couple of shows "in progress". I know I am ten years too late, but we're now watching Breaking Bad. I prefer to watch films on the weekends.

While we watch things, I do some knitting. I'm currently doing a summer cardigan!

21:30 Around this time, I start getting ready for bed. First things first: pick up the cat's litter box. Then, my sort of inefficient yet harmless, skincare routine. I have extremely sensitive skin and once I find a product that doesn't cause an allergic reaction, I will not switch.

One of my solid routines is telling the cat "come to bed Jessie" and see her running past me and jump on the bed to her sleeping area (yes, she has a sleeping nest that I do for her on the bed).

I wish I could say I have an inspiring adult way of going to bed: but no. I do use my phone. And I do watch some TikToks. I also catch up on some things I bookmarked during the day that I wanted to revisit when I had more time.

Despite going to bed quite early (and eventually putting my phone down!), I struggle to fall asleep. My mind goes to a lot of places.

Other random facts:

• My favourite day is Thursday because it is rubbish day and I love taking the rubbish out.
• I miss the gym every day. I hate exercising at home and I don't like exercising. I see it as a task and because it is an unpleasant task, I will not do it if I have to do it at home. I need the gym to feel accountability. I also don't like running.
• Saturday is the day I catch up on the shows that my husband and I don't watch together (he does the same).
• I also play Fantasy Football so, Fantasy Football deadlines are a thing for me (along with knowing the scores).
• I run an Instagram page for my cat, so recently, I've been trying to snap a photo of her and post it.

At first, I was afraid that this chain would create some "productivity shame". I truly hope that at least my post doesn't. I struggle a lot many days. This pandemic hasn't been easy on anyone. January was, personally, a devastating month for me - if anyone judges me for the lack of content I put out there, then that's a problem with their unrealistic and false expectations.

My husband, my cat, my plants, my little journals, my candles, my friends and family are what's bringing me comfort these times.

Whatever you're doing, please do it for yourself. Realistically, nobody is expecting anything from anyone.

I'd love to see the chain going and reading more from more people. I'd like to invite Calum, Suze and Carol to share theirs if they want to.

Have a good weekend folks!

Every once in a while I realise that I have been rejected for something I didn’t even apply for.

A couple of jobs ago, I was in the common area having lunch when a work colleague asked me if I had a Twitter account. “Yes”, I replied and told him my Twitter handle. I saw him scrolling on his phone and, after a minute, he looked at me and said: “wow, you don’t post anything about tech” whilst frowning. I don’t remember if I replied but I do remember, a few minutes later, checking my phone and noticing he didn’t follow me. It wasn’t that this person didn’t follow me, it was that this person actively looked up my profile, scrolled through, then voiced their disappointment in me out loud and “rejected” me.

I felt embarrassed and judged and it was an interaction that I never forgot. I internalised that interaction so hard that, six years after, it still bothers me and makes me judge my own social media activity from the “tech gaze” point of view.

Realistically, I understand that my feed (and me as a person) will not please everybody but this wasn’t really a stranger. This was someone who worked closely with me and, unsolicitedly, judged me and rejected me.

The unsolicited rejection was a frequent thing growing up as a woman but lately, it has taken a new form as I became a bit more active in the tech community.

Recently, I received a Twitter notification saying that I was tagged in a tweet. A wonderful friend of mine replied to someone who was asking recommendations for blog articles and the person asking was someone with quite a big following and, I suppose, popularity.

I was truly flattered that my friend thought of me, of all people, and I got a little bit excited at the idea that someone who is respected in the community could read what I wrote and appreciate it.

But nothing happened. Not even a “like” from the original poster. I felt embarrassed. Heck, I felt embarrassed that I noticed that it didn’t even get a “like”. I thought I was cooler than that. I wondered what happened. Did they click my blog post and thought “what a load of crap”? I felt a new flavour of shame that I wasn’t unfamiliar with but until that point, I couldn’t really explain it.

This had happened before when I am tagged in tweets that ask people to suggest “women in tech” to follow. Not that I am tagged frequently (at all), but the few times that I am, that has never resulted in a new follower. Did the original poster see my profile and thought “wow she sucks”? In the back of my mind, I’m always reminded of that interaction I had six years ago. I imagine someone perusing through my profile and thinking that I am not qualified.

When these types of tweets came out, I was flattered that someone thought of me. But the mental note still existed: someone rejected me when I didn’t even ask for it.

On the other hand, I understand now that many of these tweets are clout chasers. They are written by, usually, men, who want to do some performative work to pretend they care about diversifying their timeline. By having a popular tweet, and because a lot of people interacted with it in good faith, the social media algorithm works in their favour to promote their own account while also getting “ally” points. I’m sure they mute their own tweet immediately after posting it. This might explain it, but the rejection is still there.

When my inner critic is on and ready to hurt me, I imagine that other people scroll through those tweets and make a deliberate decision that I am not worthy. Almost like we would be in a group and somebody introduces me and nobody acknowledges what just happened.

There’s no resentment or bitterness here. Just the acknowledgement that it is an unpleasant feeling to sit with. Especially when you didn’t invite these situations.

Updated: 9th February 2021 - Added clarification to the introduction.

December 2020. As my venus fly trap goes into dormancy, I poke fun at our other accidental traps.

The whole September I was quite overwhelmed with work and life. I remember that in September "The Social Dilemma" came out. I don't remember a lot more weirdly.

In October I managed to take two weeks off! Visited the Isle of Wight for the first time to celebrate my birthday. Last week I took some time off to study for my "Life in the UK" exam. I also took an English exam. And I passed both!! Now I have the basics to begin the process to apply for British citizenship.

Time is still blur. Some days are particularly hard. It is what it is.

Bookmarks related to tech or web development:

• Web accessibility checklist by Bruce Lawson.
• Digital gardens let you cultivate your own little bit of the internet by Tanya Basuarchive.
• Dyslexia friendly style guide by The British Dyslexia Association.
• Magnet Fingers by Charlotte Dann.
• SVG Line animation by Thea.
• A11y Coffee.
• Pocket pattern.
• How to make your VSCode sparkle by Monica Powell.
• How to audit your website on a budget.
• "Telling people to delete Facebook won’t fix the internet" by Adi Robertson.
• "How CSS Perspective Works" by Amit Sheen.
• "A framework for focusing your learning goals" by Sally Lait.
• "Tips on Making Sure Hidden Content is Accessible (or Not!)" by Scott Vinkle.
• Thread on Algorithms and Black Faces.
• "Data Privacy Exhaustion Is Real" by Simon Pitt.
• "Writing even more CSS with Accessibility in Mind, Part 2: Respecting user preferences" by Manuel Matuzovic.
• "The most useful accessibility testing tools and techniques" by Artem Sapegin.
• You've heard of tax havens. After Brexit, the UK could become a 'data haven' by Carissa Véliz.
• "Honor the ADA: Avoid Web Accessibility Quick-Fix Overlays".
• "Portals and giant carousels" by Jeremy Keith.
• "Why I Don’t Have Time For Your Coding Challenge" by Michelle Barker.

Other bookmarks:

• "Pom-poms and pig's bladders: the traditions of Germany's Black Forest – in pictures" by Mee-Lai Stone.
• "Candy-coloured photographs of LA's glorious hidden beauty by George Byrne" written by Katy Cowan.
• "Parents Got More Time Off. Then the Backlash Started." by Daisuke Wakabayashi and Sheera Frenkel.
• "How not to be an alien" By Frank Trentmann.
• Brexit/Ireland/Trade thread.
• "How Photo Retouching Worked Before Photoshop" by Jocelyn Sears.
• "Japan’s Lost Generation Is Still Jobless and Living With Their Parents" by Yoshiaki Nohara.
• "You Don’t Batch Cook When You’re Suicidal" by Jack.
• "The Overwhelming Racism Of COVID Coverage" by Indi Samarajiva.
• Buying Myself Back by Emily Ratajkowski.