Reading List
The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.
Apple announces the iPhone 17E
15 Years Of Saving Just For Your Dad To Call It A Shack
Sure, you denied yourself many things as you scrimped and saved enough for a down payment on a home, but it’ll all be worth it when your father calls it a total dump. Reference #59893
The post 15 Years Of Saving Just For Your Dad To Call It A Shack appeared first on The Onion.
Nation Forced To Eat 35 Million Canadians To Survive Harsh Winter
WASHINGTON—Expressing certainty that they wouldn’t make it to spring without resorting to drastic measures, the American people stated Wednesday that they had been left with no choice but to eat 35 million Canadians to survive the harsh winter. According to sources, the United States endured below-freezing temperatures and depleted food rations for weeks before a […]
The post Nation Forced To Eat 35 Million Canadians To Survive Harsh Winter appeared first on The Onion.
Trump Boys Try Trading In George Washington Portrait At GameStop
WASHINGTON—Still sweating from the 7.5-mile walk from the White House to the video game retailer, Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. were spotted Thursday attempting to trade in a 1797 portrait of George Washington at a D.C.-area GameStop. “One PS5, please,” Donald Jr. said as his younger brother Eric pushed the 18th-century Gilbert Stuart oil-on-canvas across […]
The post Trump Boys Try Trading In George Washington Portrait At GameStop appeared first on The Onion.
Shaq Warns Young Players Not To Do Movie About Genie
LOS ANGELES—Urging the next generation of NBA talent to learn from his mistakes and avoid going down the wrong path, Shaquille O’Neal issued a stern warning Monday to young basketball players not to star in a movie about a genie. “When you come into the league and suddenly have all this money and fame, it’s easy […]
The post Shaq Warns Young Players Not To Do Movie About Genie appeared first on The Onion.