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Trump ‘Not Joking’ About Seeking Third Term
The Onion
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satire
Attorney General Seeks Death Penalty For All UnitedHealthcare Customers
The Onion
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satire
College Campus Tour Ends Inside Unmarked ICE Vehicle
The Onion
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satire
Highway Patrol Officer Asks Pete Hegseth To Carry Out Drone Strikes In Straight Line
The Onion
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satire
COBRA Extension Lets Terminated Employees Continue Raiding Office Fridge For 18 Months
The Onion
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satire
Only Bag Of Chips Big Enough For Funeral Reception Says ‘Party Size!’ On It
The Onion
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Guy Ordering Nonalcoholic Beer Has Either Seen A Ton Of Shit Or No Shit At All
The Onion
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Trump Says He Won’t Rule Out Third Reich
The Onion
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satire
White House Correspondents’ Dinner Scraps Host In Favor Of Terrified Silence
The Onion
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satire
Dietary Restrict-Funs
The Onion
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news